Crawling in My Skin, These Wounds, They Will Not Heal

It had been a few weeks since our break-up, and that had been the last time I'd talked to Gwen. The last time I'd seen her face, angry and full of dispair, as she screamed at me that she hated me. Every night since then I'd replayed the same saying in my head, again and again and again. Had I really deserved hearing that? Did she really hate me as much as it sounded like? I knew now that I'd over-reacted, after I'd had time to calm down and actually sat down to think about it. I'd acted irrationally and said things I hadn't meant, all because I couldn't deal with the fact that she'd unintentionally (?) lied to me. She couldn't trust me, and she'd been keeping her pregnancy from me.. something that was so huge. Another life was growing in her belly, and it was half mine. It had taken me simply forever to accept that, and even know I didn't think I was okay with it. Not that I had much of a choice, because that baby was going to come into this world whether I wanted it to or not. It was my choice whether I manned up or became a dead-beat father like I knew Gwen was probably now expecting me to be. I knew leaving her there had been wrong, breaking up with her had been worse, and not being in contact with her being on the borderline of cruel. But in my defense, she hadn't made any effort to see me, either. Not that I expected she would want to see my face.. I'd left her, I'd left he kid, and I'd broken up with her all in one shot. All she probably wanted to do was hex the living shit out of me and see me writh around in pain.

Still, as the days had gone by I couldn't help but feel defeated. I felt extremely conflicted though. One part of me wanted to go find her and mend everything, knowing it was the right thing to do. Another part of me wanted to keep to myself though, because I just didn't feel like I could trust her. Even after everything we'd been through together, and all the progress, she'd still done this to me. And every time I thought about it, a new bought of anger would stem from no where and leave me upset and fuming all over again. My heart ached, I felt miserable, but I couldn't trust her again. If I couldn't trust her again, then how the hell could I expect to even be with her? After everything I had said, I highly doubted she'd even want to look at my face, but part of me was happy about that. I had no intentions of apologizing for what I had said, simply because at the time I'd meant everything I had said. Maybe it could have been worded differently, but I felt as if I hardly had a lot to apologize for. I hadn't kept a child from anyone, I hadn't lied anyone, and I hadn't doubted anyone. She had. But I'd also walked out on her and broken up with her.. which I supposed in a way, was just as offensive.

It took me a while but I finally admitted to myself that I needed to see her. We needed to talk, even if in the end things turned out fatal in terms of our friendship and our butchered relationship. I didn't want to see her, the last thing I even wanted to do was talk to her, but I knew it had to be done. And without knowing where she was staying, I went to the last place I thought I could find her - Dervish & Banges, her workplace.

On the walk there I was tempted to turn around and not do it at least half a million times. I was even so much as tempted to stop at the Leaky for a drink or two before braving her wrath, but in the end I found myself standing in front of the door with my stomach in knots and my heart heavy in my chest. I felt physically sick as I reached out and let myself in the bells above the door signalling my arrival, noticing her standing toward the back. Her back was to me though, and my stomach lurched in a nauseous fashion. Shaking my head, I forced myself to walk forward and wait for her to notice me. This needed to be done, I told myself. Even if the last thing I wanted to do was be in the same room as her.

** Topic Title credited to Crawling by Linkin Park lyrics**

Weeks had passed, after staying at Ians place for a few days I'd been able to find a small apartment, now it wasn't like my flat had been but it would do. I'd gotten the results from the Doc too. A Baby girl.
When I had gotten the news I'd almost owled Evan. I did that a lot.
I spent the nights crying, thinking about how it had taken a year for him to love me and seconds to hate me.
But life had to go on, even if I didn't want it to. My child, I say my because he had made it obvious he didn't want it, was growing and she'd need a mother. A part of me still hoped Evan would show up and atleast be a Father. The rest of me wanted to hex his bits off when he came.
But like I said, life goes on. I was leaving for Hogwarts tomorrow and today I had to work. Though I loved D&B very much, I wasn't in the mood.
So when the bell rang I sighed "Dervish and Bangs, if ever in a skermish we'll- get the fuck out." I hissed as I saw him. My heart leapt at seeing him and I was torn. However the angry part of me was winning slightly,
"where's my fugging wand..." I muttered before looking at him blankly.
Ivwas already starting to show. There was no use in killing him or maiming him.
"what do you want?" my voice was strangly strong for the fact that I was about to pass out.
I sighed and got out the picture of the baby, magical ultrasound. Not mich to see but..but a bit.
"Its a she. Not like you care but, shes a she. Here." I put it on the counter before standing behind the counter and placing my palms on the cool surface
"just...stay on that side of the counter, I can't be held responsible for my actions if you don't. But if you do come over here I an garuntee that you will never father children, ever again." I stated plainly and without much emotion.
I can't believe I still love him, I loved him, but I couldn't trust him.
He was acting like i had conspired against him, like I wasnt going to ever tell him. I had been doing the opposite, waiting for the right moment to tell him. I wanted to tell him asap, but i knew it would ruin his perfgect, carefree life. I hadnt wanted to do that to him. I'd even considered just up and running for the hills. But I loved him too much to let him go.
He'd left me, the way he had...it made it impossible for me to trust him with our child...if he was going to run out everytime we fight instead of talking like an adult...he'd promised to never leave me again.
He'd promised.
But now hecwas here...what did he want. My brown eyes were gaurded, every wall was up.
Once I had told him most people were afraid when they knew I could decapitate them in ten different ways without taking a single step.
He should now be one of those people.
So this is what it had come to...the same way I kept everyone else from getting too close, by making them fear me. How horrible...I never wanted to do that with Evan...
"If this is because of the things I left at your place, dont bother, I just havent had time to get them yet and..yeah." And i was afraid i might see you and lose it bigtime...
"Don't worry, the knocked up little bitch will be out of your hair soon." venom in my voice dripped though it was directed at yself.
I turned away from him, pretebding to check something behind the counter while wiping my eyes.
Please..dont let me cry..dont let me cry in front of him...please...If it were just me, i'd just cut myself off from everyone else, make no new friends, keep to myself, work as a Huntress at night, at the shop during the day. Live alone. let no one in. But I wasnt alone. I had a daughter to think of.
Which was another problem. If Evan had really listened to me, then he'd remember that Hunters were the female line.
She'd be forced to be one. Like I was. But I wouldnt let her. We'd hide, we'd run. I'd fight for her. The Hunters musnt know about her. Never. She wasnt even born and I was willing to die for her.
"I'll have to leave. You know. because of them. They're...they're going to try to take her." my voice broke on the last word and I bit my lip, closing my eyes tightly and clenching my fists against the table, my back still to him as a few tears ran down my cheeks.
Stop crying, please, stop crying... I willed myself and wiped them away quickly.
Please..stop me..make me stay...help me...

I stood near the counter, my eyes never once leaving her back as she began reciting the saying she had to when anyone walked in. Although she added a special new thought to it just for me when she saw me, and if the situation hadn't been so dire I probably would have even smirked. Instead my expression remained practically emotionless and I didn't even flinch, standing my ground and staring back at her even though I wanted to give her the finger, then turn around and leave her standing there. Seeing her face left me feeling all sorts of unexplainable emotions, and I inhaled before exhaling heavily through my nose. I knew this time I needed to keep myself calm or things would just get even worse. My intentions with coming here, I wasn't entirely sure to be honest. If it was to fix things with Gwen, or just to figure out if we really were completely over. At this second though, I didn't want to get back together with her. I didn't know why I was here, maybe subconsciously I had just wanted to see her face again. Hear her voice, even if it was filled with hate. My hands had taken refuge in my jean pockets, but my fingers had curled into fists. She still looked beautiful, but I wouldn't let myself even think that. And she was beginning to show slightly.. I also wouldn't think about that either, even if it was maybe the rest of the reason as to why I was here.

I heard her muttering about her wand but remained where I was, my own tucked safely away where I could grab it in a second if I needed it. I knew she could hex me to bits, I was well aware of her capabilities. When she couldn't find her wand and instead looked at me blankly, I looked right back at her as I tried to sort of my intentions in my brain. My heartbeat had sped up though, and I still felt physically ill. Felt like I couldn't speak even if I wanted to, but knowing it needed to be done. After all, I had come looking for her, not vice versa. And it was clearly evident that she did not want to be around me.. and trust me, the feeling was completely mutual.

What did I want? I didn't answer because she was already getting something out, slapping it on the counter as she told me the baby's sex. In all the confusion and emotion I'd forgotten that we'd be able to know it's gender soon, and again I was slapped in the face with reality. She was more along then I'd thought, and in just a few months my... daughter would be showing her face to the world. I swallowed as my eyes slowly glanced down toward the ultrasound. I knew in my heart that I wanted to see it and so with my eyes back on Gwen, I reached out and took it. I wanted to tell her that maybe I did care, but even I din't know if I could fully admit that yet, so I remained quiet as I looked down at the ultrasound in my hands. Staring at it for a couple of seconds before it was slid into my pocket wordlessly. I emotionlessly smirked at her next set of words, my eyes cooly resting on her face. "Oh, you don't have to worry about that. Trust me, I don't want to be anywhere near you either." My voice was cold but firm all at the same time.

I knew she was trying to threaten me in a sense, put some fear into me but truth be told, I just didn't care. Of course I was fully aware that she could kill me if she wanted to, but it didn't scare me. She didn't scare me, nor did she intimidate me, as much as she might have tried. She was acting like I was the only one in the wrong in this fucking situation, and that was not true. Yeah I'd left instead of manning up, but she hadn't acted like an adult either. I saw the guard up in her eyes, but I knew the same look was reflected in my own blue ones. I didn't trust her, plain and simple. And I was making sure she knew that. After a moment of tense silence I exhaled before speaking. "Gwen, you don't scare me. Keep trying to intimidate me, keep trying to push me away by trying to put fear into me, it's not going to work." I said this truthfully and without much care. "Yeah, I know you can kill me, but you know what? If you want to, go for it. You've got my full permission." I challenged her, my eyes drilling into hers. I wasn't suicidal, oh hell no. It was more to prove a point then anything else.

Another pause, and I continued, surprised that I sounded so cold and so uncaring. "I'm not here to apologize to you, because honestly I meant everything I said at the time it was said. But don't you dare stand there and act like I'm the only one in the wrong here. Don't even." I felt my temper flaring slightly but roped it back, watching her closely. This had the potential of getting ugly again, but I was ready if need be. Maybe not mentally or emotionally ready, but it needed to be done. My hands clenched into fists by my sides when I heard her speaking, because the thoughts had occurred to me. I'd just never really had it confirmed until now. The kid wasn't even out in the world yet, and there were so many life threatening problems. Not a good environment for it, at all... but I said nothing. I had nothing I could say. My gaze traveled elsewhere when Gwen turned her back to me, because I knew she was crying. As much as she tried to hide it, I could hear it in her voice. And I knew if I didn't look elsewhere, my walls would crumble slightly. And that wasn't what I was here to do.

"I dont expect an apology, so dont expect another one either." the venom back in my voice but not as bad as it had been. I'd noticed he'd kept the picture and that sparked hope but I stomped it out.
At his words my eyes met his and the spark of anger ignited in my hard dark eyes as I flicked my wand in his direction, missing him by inches and blasting a hole in the wall behind him setting off a stack of sneakoscopes. I didn't want to hurt him, but I was extremely hormonal, extremely hurt and extremely pissed off. The shock that flashed in his eyes was slightly satisfying, though a moment later I felt sorry. Damn love, damn heart. I hate this. I hate this so much. I just want him back, what the fug am I doing???
"Don't push me. Don't you dare push me. You're no good to me dead." my wand hand clenched my wand tightly as it itched to hex him, wandlessly I slammed the door shut.
What had he come here for? To rub it in my face that he was free as a bird and I was stuck with a kid, left behind? I turned from him again and started organizing boxes listening to him, only turning to hide my tearing eyes, slyly I wiped a tear from my cheek and felt Baby girlie kick which caused me to gasp in surprise. I turned and saw his quizzical expression.
"she just kicked.." I murmured before he started up again.
Each of his words hurt me again and again. I felt rage, fury, hurt and sorrow swl up inside my mind until I reached my breaking point.
Then I couldnt keep it in any more, I was right in front if him in seconds with my wand at his chest,
"You're such an idiot! What was I thinking to fall in love with such a jackass?! Because you don' honestly believe I hate you? I couldnt, though I really really want to. Nooo, that would be too easy, no I have to love the biggest arse in the world." I was on a roll now, words pouring out of my mouth, loaded with broken heart and hormones, so I backed away as I went on, waving my hands around as I ranted and ending by looking straight at him, my hands at my sides and stopped hiding how hurt I was, making it obvious,
"You act like this was a huge conspiracy to keep the existance of our daughter a secret forever! Would you be this mad if YOUR FATHER HADNT PUT ME IN THE HOSPITAL AND I HAD BEEN ABLE TO TELL YOU THAT NIGHT MYSELF!? WOULD YOU BE? I was only trying to find the right moment. I wasnt hiding it. I'M SORRY THAT IT TOOK E SEVEN OF YOUR PRECIOUS DAYS TO ACCEPT THAT I'M SEVENTEEN; NOT YET OUT OF SCHOOL AND IM PREGNANT! Gosh, youre acting like I did it on purpouse! I just didnt know how to tell you! I didnt mean to hurt you! But you...oh you...you left me. In the fugging hospital. Which your Daddy put me in. Pregnant. With OUR child. You left me. On purpose. You. Hurt. Me. Im not saying I should have waited a week, I'm not saying what I did was okay but at least I didnt mean to hurt you. AT LEAST I SAID I WAS SORRY! But you cant deny what you did was...cruel...and wrong...and hurtful...and childish and selfish. God, if our daughter is ANYTHING like you in things maturity I'll have a permanent teenager to raise. NOT TO MENTION THE ENTIRE SOCIETY OF HUNTERS ON MY ASS AS SOON AS THEY FIND OUT! And your Father, Why cant you tell me what he does? I need to protect her Evan, because you've made it obvious that you wont! And to protect her I need to know what I'm up against. Do you honestly think I'd rather you fug off? No! I'd rather you be a man and BE THERE FOR YOUR DAUGHTER. I don't know about you, but I am going to do everything I can to ensure her happiness. I wont tell her that she wasnt wanted because...to be honest...I want her. It took a while, yes, but...I want her. And I want her safe. She will nt be a Huntress, I will not let her risk her life so some purebloods are happy. And I want her to have a Father she can go to. My Father died for me, Evan. My Mother died for me. They gave their life so I could be free. And I'd do the same for her. So why don't you do us three a favor and tell me what you want? So we can calmly discuss it. i'm ready to calm down if you are. Getting upset is bad for the baby." I finally slowed my breathing and tried very hard not to cry but my eyes were already red. I had thick eyebags and I noticed that he had some too. But I also noticed that he had put his walls up. In all the time we knew each other...I had never put walls up. Never. And he had always let his down, if only a little.
"What do you want? Why did you come here?"I asked not looking at him and breathing deeply as I felt her kick slightly. I bit my lip in minimal pain but didnt say anything. I just put my hand on my stomach and whispered softly "Shhh C, shhhh..."I'd taken to calling her C, for Caldwell. She didnt really have a name yet, I didnt want to choose it without him.
Though I'd probably have to.

(OoC: Gwen is such a hormonal bitch, Evan is such a jackass, what a perfect couple xD)

I continued to stare at her as if she were some sort of stranger as she snapped at me again, but my expression remained, for the most part, emotionless. For the time being I stayed silent, still trying my best to remain calm although it seemed Gwen was doing quite the opposite. I noticed her flicking her wand a mere second before the blast behind me. I was even tempted to flinch but I knew shock flashed across my eyes for a moment or so before I was back to acting like I didn't give a damn. I shook my head slowly, another emotionless smirk appearing across my lips. I could see the angry look on her face the moment it appeared, almost as if she were shocked that I'd be expressing such emotion after what she'd just tried to do. I tried to evaporate the smirk when I heard her speaking, but instead a chuckle accompanied it, much to her disgust. "And don't you dare keep threatening me and blasting things around like a little child who can't control herself. You don't fucking scare me. Accept it." I snapped back, knowing in a way I was sounding slightly hypocritical. While my temper got the best of me as well, I didn't fucking go around threatening people and telling them how I was capable of killing them if need be just to make them fear me. Fuck no, that was almost borderline insanity. Not a protection mechanism.

I heard the door slamming shut but barely even moved, my eyes still glued to her furious face. Until she turned from me again and began to organize boxes, while I crossed my arms over my chest and looked elsewhere as well. Then she'd gasped and told me the baby had kicked, before I had spoken and clearly my words had to desired effect. All of a sudden she was no longer behind the counter but right in front of me, her wand poking me roughly in the chest. My arms had dropped to my sides again but my body was completely rigid as I stared at her. Part of me missed being this close to her, but the more she talked the more angry I became again, and that thought was quickly diminished. Now all I wanted to do was get the hell away from her bloody raging temper before I snapped back. Which I knew in the end, I would do. Because she just was not stopping, and ultimately, it all pushed me to my breaking point again. She was lucky she'd backed away because I had been ready to smack that wand right off of my chest in order to put some distance in between us. She began stomping around before stopping and staring at me, all the hurt I'd already known about evident on her features. I was much too pissed off to show mine, keeping my expression angry and guarded. I'd be damned if I gave up that easily. I'd be fucking damned.

I started firing back at her, my eyes wild with fury. "You act like it's my fucking fault he put you in the hospital. I warned you about him, Gwen. I fucking warned you. I knew he was going to do something, I just didn't know when. I tried to help you. I tried to protect you. But you're too god damn independent to want it! You want to take care of yourself, and so I fucking LET you!" My voice was no longer quiet, but loud and competing with hers. Would I have been as angry? "I fucking found out from SOMEONE ELSE that my damn girlfriend was pregnant. How do you fucking think that made me feel, huh?" I was looming above her, glaring right into her slightly surprised eyes. "You KEPT IT FROM ME. Don't you get it?! I asked you about it! You lied right to my fucking face! You kept insisting everything was alright when you fucking KNEW it wasn't! I trusted you, and you did nothing but break it. You fucking HURT ME too, and so I hurt you back. Revenge sucks when it's aimed at you, doesn't it?" I smirked bitterly, not censoring anything flying from my mouth. "Don't fucking stand there and act like I was the only one who hurt anyone, because YOU DID TOO." I paused for a ragged breath before I continued. "Yeah, I fucking left you. Because I wasn't going to sit there and talk to someone who I can't trust. I didn't put you in the fucking hospital. You don't think I feel fucking horrible because he did that to you? Stop fucking bringing it up and acting like its all MY fault. And I didn't know you were pregnant, remember?" I spat this out at her with another emotionless grin. "The lovely doctor was the first one to fucking INFORM me. That I'm nineteen and about to have FUCKING KID." So we were both screaming at each other out of hurt and rage, but that wasn't what was going to fix this. All this back and forth tossing of insults was only going to make the wound larger, and I knew that. I figured she knew that, but both of us just weren't the type to back down. "Did I deny it? NO. I didn't." When she made the dig at my maturity I threw my hands up in the air, turning toward the door and stalking toward it just to put more space in between us. "My maturity level is fucking fine. You can shut the hell up." I practically snarled, and I was satisfied with the shocked moments of silence coming from behind me. It wasn't for long though.

When she began accusing me of not protecting the baby, I was nearly ready to launch myself at her again. I would never hurt her or even come close to touching her of course, but I felt like my words had more of an impact when I was towering over her and glaring at her with all my anger. "You don't know me." I stated this blankly. "You don't fucking know me like I thought you did. So don't you dare sit there and act like you know what I will and won't do. You aren't me. You aren't anything to me anymore. So don't FUCKING do that." I was surprised by the severity in my voice, and the hurt on her face was even worse then anything I'd ever expected. I looked away sharply when I felt the pain in my chest, knowing how awful my words were. Gwen was talking again though and honestly, all I could do was sit there and half-listen to her ramble. I felt defeated inside, physically tired and drained, but I wasn't letting it show. I couldn't let it show, not with the situation.There was so much tension and hate and brokeness and high emotions running in this room that I just wanted out. I needed fresh air to clear my head again. What had I been thinking, coming here? It had only made things worse so far.

I snickered when she said she was ready to calm down. "Oh, really? Finally decided that might be a good idea?" I shook my head slightly, but bit my tongue after that. I still hadn't answered why I was here, but god damn I didn't even know why I was. "Maybe you should have thought about how bad it was when you were stomping around a couple of minutes ago ready to blow my head off." I commented harshly, but I knew I needed to stop. Despite the aching in my chest and the throbbing in my head, I needed to calm the fuck down, we both needed to mature the fuck up and stop screaming at each other and nearly being at one another's throats. I still wasn't going to apologize though. I took a deep breath as I looked off to the side, barely registering her nickname for the child. I still just couldn't get around the fact.... no.

"I don't know why I'm here." I stated after a moment, and it was the complete truth. "Part of me thought it might be because I want to.. fix things." A pause to let it sink in, even though I could have looked at her face for a reaction I didn't. "Part of me just wanted to see if this is how things are really going to end." I wasn't coming here with the mindset of getting her back. I was coming here with the mindset of anything can happen. "Instead, we've just sat here and screamed at one another and made everything worse. So. Maybe it would be best if we just left everything else unsaid and said our goodbyes. Right now." I wasn't sure what I was thinking, but all the emotion had left me so tired I wasn't even sure what to do. This time, I wouldn't be so much as leaving, because this would be a goodbye. She would know I was leaving, it wouldn't be abrupt. We were much too hurt to deal with one another, I would imagine. I knew it would take just one look again at her to make me want to stay though. One single look.. because now that my anger was slowly draining away, it was being overpowered with the want of her again. But I just... it was so hard for me to just accept that everyone made mistakes. I was the prime example of that.

What the fuck was I going to do....

"When THE FUG have you protected me? Because Obviously I've completely missed that!" I threw back, not being able to think of one instance where he'd protected me.
"Yeah you warned me, but you still wont tell me the fug WHY! You wont tell me what he does! Youre KEEPING IT FROM ME!" I threw his words back at him with a fury unrivaled.
I was quiet though, for the rest of his rant, not even listening anymore as his words revolved in my head.
You arent anything to me anymore...
Those words ripped me apart inside and I was glad he wasnt looking at my face anymore because I couldnt even see him anymore. All I could see, hear, feel, was the cut of his words and it broke my heart, it broke everything in me. My passion, my fire, my drive, my ambition. Suddenly the child in me was the only life. That and my love for the asshole in front of me. I heard the word goodbye and stood, almost as if driven by autopilot. I calmly and slowly got my coat, put my wand in my pocket and walked to the door, but before I opened it I said,
"I didnt tell you about the baby when you asked because I didnt want to take away what you had left of a carefree life. I already took that away from you and I couldnt bear the idea of taking away your last freedom. No matter what you said I always had the feeling something was forcing you to be with me, that you had to force yourself to settle down, be a one girl guy. It took you a year to love me and a few minutes and a few mistakes for you to hate me. I thought that having to handle the stress and pressure of being responsible for another life would crush us. Nothing kills lové like everyday worries. Though I guess this kind of killed your love just the same. I'm sorry for hurting you, I'm sorry you've wasted your time. Goodbye Evan" I was numb, no more fight in me, id given up, given in. All I wanted was to get back together and to hold each other and for everything to be okay.
"All I ever wanted was you." I added softly, having nothing more to lose.
I opened the door and the moment i stepped a foot outside a hooded figure grabbed me, taking me by surprise and I could only let out a muffled cry.
"So we meet again pretty lady, did you think you would escape?" his nasally voice sneered before he turned me around, his hand over my mouth and my eyes wide with fear and hurt.
"Since you've got no more use for the girl Ill just bring him to Daddy then, shall I? Sure you wont mind" he laughed taunting Evan before mentally stunning me so I sank in a heap in my captors arms.
Then he apparated with me to Caldwell Manor.
He set me on a couch and awakened me, my hands went to my stomach as I tried to sit up but found I couldnt.
"Calm down Ms.Cooper. Oh, I'm so sorry, I meant Lady Vere. Dont struggle, it wont help you. Dont worry, I wont harm you. Yet." Mr.Caldwells voice was smug.
I stared at him wordlessly and felt like sobbing.
Well what a great day. What a really, really...shitty day, someone help me, please...
Evan... I thought helplessly.

I was surprised by how calm Gwen was acting, unaware that maybe my words had everything to do with it. Her face had seemed almost shocked, hurt, and then went to absolutely nothing before she'd began gathering her things. Part of me wanted to take back everything I'd said but I knew not to. It was too late for me to say a word, and it sort of sucked having to watch her leave this time. Was this how I wanted it all to end? I couldn't really say because I didn't really have any answers, which bothered me. It bothered me more then I ever thought it would. She was walking past me and heading toward the door, and I knew I should turn around and try to stop her. This was the end, my... ex girlfriend and my... daughter were heading out of that door. But she was turning around now and saying something to me, and in a last effort I managed to turn myself around so I could look at her while I listened.

I decided to say nothing at all, mostly because I was just done with the entire situation. I didn't bother telling her that my freedom would have been gone whether she told me then or not, because I would have eventually had to know. I also didn't bother telling her that I'd settled down by choice, not because anything was forcing me to. If I hadn't wanted to be with her, I wouldn't have been. It was that simple, really. I didn't do anything I didn't want to do. I almost opened my mouth to tell her that I didn't hate her, but something stopped me. I wasn't sure what it was, but I couldn't bring myself to cut her off to let her know this. Even if it was wrong of me, this entire encounter had been wrong of me and I knew it. Then she was apologizing again when she'd told me she wasn't going to, and then she was gone before I could even blink. I wanted to follow after her and tell her that she was wrong, she didn't waste my time. I actually was still very much in love with her, just hurt and my trust was shaky. My anger was still there but it was being overshadowed now. Watching her walk away with everything practically unresolved and with the way it all was bothered the living shit out of me, and that was why I went after her. My long legs carried me quickly toward the door, catching it just as it closed. I whipped it open and stepped out into the cool air, my eyes darting around for her. She couldn't have gone too far, unless she apparated, and then I wouldn't know where she was. Fuck.. this was bad. Why'd I let her walk away in the first place?

What I saw though surprised the hell out of me, and I stopped dead in my tracks. My eyes were wide as I stared at the hooded figure, and then at Gwen in his arms. What the fuck... and then I heard the voice. My teeth gritted and I stepped forward, making a grab for the stupid son of a bitch. "You fucking let her go." I demanded, but they were gone. I swore profusely as I kicked at the ground and nearly attacked the side of the building with my fists, but in my fury I managed to apparate to my house. If I had been a second longer and I wouldn't have been able to do that, because I could feel the Anti-Apparation charm being cast the moment I appeared on the front lawn of my manor. For some reason the apparation had taken even more out of me and I panted a bit, but managed to storm toward the house. I didn't think it would be all that easy to get in, and I was right. The front door was locked tight and I swore again, my temper boiling. What. The. Fuck! This psycho ass son of a bitch! I was ready to scream in frustration as I scaled the side of my house, finding the one window I knew well from the entire house. Managing to climb the side I punched my fist through the window, the sound of the glass shattering throughout the entire house. I cut my hands a couple of times in the process but I finally managed to dump myself through it and I stood up, making my way out of my old bedroom and toward where I knew that bastard would be waiting.

I slammed open the door with such a force that it nearly bounced off it's hinges. The first thing I noticed was Gwen, and she seemed to be alright. I immediately began to step toward her but something grabbed me by the back and I swung around, fists flying. My father's assistant grabbed at my wrists and before I knew it I was being slammed against the wall. I gritted my teeth and winced but levelled my eyes at my father. "You filthy bastard. You let her go. LET. HER. GO." I didn't care how disrespectful I was being. I struggled against the hold and swore some more, the blood from the cuts from breaking the window trickling down my arm. "She didn't do anything. If you don't let her go.. I'll.. I'll.." What would I do? "I'll kill you. With my own bare hands." It was like an animal had taken over my entire body. A very wild animal.

My concipusness was questionable but I was still vaguely aware of everything.
What-Evan..?
Evan!
"Evan..." I managed to whisper before I felt a pair of hands pick me up and pin me to the wall.
Silence! Now, now Ms.Cooper, look what you've done. Caused a family fight. Tsk, tsk. That won't do. Diffindo!" mr Caldwell magically cut my shoulder, tearing through my sleeve and I blinked, before wincing and biting my lip as I felt the wound grow hotter, apparent that was his own little twist. It felt like lava on my skin, unbearable.
I screamed as he continued to turn up the heat. It was literally like salt in a wound.
My baby..I had to protect my baby..
I managed to kick my captor between his legs rather hard and he let me go. 'Shit, can't stand!'
I thought as I fell to my knees and wandlessly stupified Evans captor before I nearly fainted.
"Ehat..did you..do..?"
mr.Caldwell chuckled darkly and put up a sheiks between us and Evan.
"Paralyzing potion into your wound. Now, you probbly want to know why I want you. Ask Evan, he knows. Go on, tell her. Or are you going to kill me first?" he taunted as I looked over to Evan, barely able to move, my eyes sad and helpless.
"I love you.." I whispered to Evan before I couldn't move anymore.
"how disgusting. Don't worry, it's not permanent. Just temporary. Well Evan, go on! Tell her!" he yelled, suddenly aggresive as he picked me up my my injured shoulder and hair and made me face Evan.

I heard Gwen whispering my name and my eyes traveled in her direction, at least she was aware that I was here. Although with my excrutiatingly loud entrance, I wasn't sure how she couldn't be aware, even though her consciousness was beginning to look pretty questionable. I could only be left to wonder what the hell he'd done to her before I'd been able to get here but I tried not to think about it. Mostly because before I could react I heard my father speaking. My lip curled back in a sneer until I heard the spell, and I began swearing again as I struggled against the hold violently. "No!" I spat out, but it was too late. And then she was screaming and my face twisted up in anger and frustration. I managed to break loose one of my arms in my sudden adrenaline rush of rage at the same moment Gwen stunned him, and my fist connected swiftly with his jaw as I shook my other hand free. "LEAVE HER ALONE." My voice was booming as my father wordlessly used a spell against me, sending me flying back into the wall again. I grunted in pain as I slowly slid to the ground, my breathing irregular from the force.

He'd used a paralyzing potion on her? This was not good.. and suddenly all I could think about was my daughter. I couldn't tell my Father that, but suddenly I had this unexplainable urge to protect both of them. I needed to get them out of there and fast, but how? My father was much more capable then even I was aware of, and I knew this. I just needed to think of his weaknesses and outsmart him with them...

At his taunting my jaw set in a firm line as I slowly rose from the ground, wincing as my joints cracked back in place. "If you touch her again, I swear..." I warned, my voice low and menacing. I heard Gwen's whisper and I could nearly feel my heart sinking into my stomach, feeling horrible for putting her though this. Although what happened next literally made me snap. My muscles began to twitch and before I knew it I'd launched myself at my father even before he could react. My fists began flying at his face before I went straight for his gut, managing to get him to let go of Gwen. I hoped to god she landed as gently as possible but I couldn't stop to make sure. My father was wordlessly trying to cast the Imperius Curse on me - I could feel him trying to barge into my mind. In my anger I almost let him slip completely in but I clenched my teeth as I fought with him the entire way, my muscles straining. "Get. Out. Of. My. Head." I bit out at him, my hands in fists by my side. I'd had practice resisting this curse, for my Father had tried it on me many times before, each time worse then the next. The resistance had taken forever to build up, and even now it took so much out of me..

My hand was slowly inching toward where I was keeping my wand. I needed to do something, anything to distract him. I was much too tired to try any large curse and resisting the Imperius Curse was nearly enough to have me panting on the floor. I couldn't show my weakness though. My shaking fingers wrapped around the wand and I closed my eyes, willing myself to find the strength to perform a spell that would be just enough to get him out of my head... there had to be something I'd remembered my Father using in all the other times.... "Sectumsempra!" I yelled suddenly, jerking my wand upward and then back and forth in slashing motions, surprising the hell out of my Father as the bright flash filled the room. He yelped and jumped back, clutching the arm I'd managed to slice open. I continued to slash blindly, my body tiring quickly. Shouting the conjunctivitis curse next I could feel my Father trying to use the Crucio curse on me. The pain was coming up quick, seeping into my bones... "Sectumsempra!" I cried again and began slashing almost blindly. The pain in my body intensified and I cried out in pain, nearly being brought to my knees. I made a last effort and then suddenly it all just.. stopped. I gasped and nearly fell to the ground by my side, but I knew I needed to take my chances. I managed to drag myself over to where Gwen was and I gingerly began trying to wake her up.

My father wasn't about to give up that easily. He was rising from his fallen spot and his assistant was coming to again. I didn't care about my well-being anymore, I just needed to get Gwen the fuck out of here. "Gwen! Wake up!" I pleaded, shaking her shoulders before I felt the curse seeping into my bones again. "FUCK!" I swore so loudly, jerking around again and nearly toppling over. This battle was just begun, but I needed to take everything. I couldn't let him at her. My brain began to race for another curse, but the pain was becoming increasingly unbearable.... think fast. If I could only find it in myself to launch myself at them again...

Thankfully I wasn't far away from the floor so I landed pretty well.
I just couldn't move which sucked eggs.
I vaguely heard fighting and soon I was coming to and I blinked as Evan shook me to wake up. I tried to shake off my daze as I slowly stood.
Then I heard Evan swear and I saw the assistent coming to.
I reached fir my belt which always held my dagger and threw it at the assistent. It didn't quite hit the middle of his heart, but close enough, he fell over, exitus.
Hopefully Evan wouldn't mind.
My senses were slowly coming back and I suddenly was aware of Evan being tortured.
"No! Leave him alone you son of a hippogrifs arse!!" I figured I had cursed enough for one day, around the child I'd have to stop though. Anyway.
"Serpensortia!" a long black snake slithered from my wand towards mrCaldwell and started to attack him.
fight to deathhh I commanded in parsle tongue and the snake obliged, distracting the man just enough.
I rushed to Evan and helped him up.
"We need to get out of here, I don't know the house." I had no idea how to get out of here, mainly because all I remembered was the multitude in bathrooms. Honestly who needs seven?
I really wanted to kill the evil wizard, but it wasn't my place, I pulled my dagger out of the henchman and handed it to Evan, to let him do what he was probably thinking about.
"hurry, the snake won't hold him long, or should I do it?" I asked, I knew I had barely enough strength left for a killing curse, but enough.
Where was Mrs.Caldwell? I pondered this briefly before the door swung open and a hysterical woman raged in. Heading straight for me.
"you filth! You will never be a Caldwell, over my dead body!" she screamed as she lunged at me. I ducked quickly and she tumbled into the shelves, coming up fast and brandishing her wand.
In a moment I grabbed the nearest book and hit her over the head, knocking her out cold.
"always wanted to do that" I murmured.

Even in my pain I glanced behind me just in time to see Gwen standing. The Crucio curse was slowly wearing me down and I tried with all the self control I had left in me to remain standing, but I could feel the muscles in my legs twitching, threatening to give way. My head bent and my jaw clenched so tightly that my teeth felt as if they were going to shatter into a million pieces. That was nothing compared to the rest of the pain, with my limbs feeling as if they were trying to be torn straight from my body. It was taking all of my will power not to scream at the pain, and I knew if I opened my mouth the strangled sound would come out before I could even stop it. My body was breaking out in a sweat and soon I just couldn't take it anymore. He was intensifying the curse and I was falling to my knees, much to my dismay. I was barely aware of the dagger being thrown and the assistant falling over like a log the moment it made contact. I was beginning to see spots in my vision and I felt like such a fucking failure. I couldn't even protect her the one time I wanted to.. fuckfuckfuck.

And then all at once, the pain evaporated. My body sagged forward in a quivering heap and I began breathing raggedly, my vision swimming as my consciousness threatened to slip away from me. My entire body was acting so severely I felt like if I moved, I'd end up falling apart. I was vaguely aware of Gwen on the side of me and I somehow found an ounce of strength to climb to my feet, much to my body's dismay. Forcing my eyes to look around I saw the snake attacking my father, and while the sight was gruesome it was also much deserved. After all he'd done to me growing up, and now to Gwen and my unborn child... even if he wasn't aware of the child and I hadn't fully accepted the facts yet, still. I couldn't just sit around and let it happen anymore. I yanked my gaze away and nodded at her request, already knowing the quickest route out of the house. I looked down in almost a daze when she handed me the bloody dagger, but before I could react.. my mother came bursting in, flying right toward Gwen. Instinctively I moved to jump in front of her even though my body screamed with the effort, but my mother was then going into the shelves before promptly being knocked out cold. Well, solved that.

I just knew though that I couldn't kill my father. Even with everything happening... now was not the right time. And I hoped Gwen understood that as I turned away from the scene without a word, the dagger clutched in my left hand. Blindly grabbing her by the wrist I made a beeline out of the room, away from the screams of my father. I quickly navigated us outside, ignoring the way my body nearly refused to move. I was working almost in slow motion but I managed to get us out to the street. Where I was met with nothing but silence. "His time's coming. His time's coming." I kept repeating, trying to re-assure Gwen of it. I needed to do it when it was just us.

Man to man. The showdown. May the best one come out alive. And it had to happen soon... judging on what had all just gone down. "Gwen, god I'm so so sorry..."

When Evan led me out I knew things were going to get worse in regards to the Caldwell Elders.
But I respected his decision.
And judging by the kick I felt I knew that our baby agreed.

Then we were outside and he was apologizing and I just looked him in the eyes before I grabbed his face between my hands and kissed him to shut him up.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry" I murmured repeatedly and pulled back.
"we're both sorry, can we both forgive each other? I- I forgive you. I forgive you, I love you and I'm sorry." I stammered hoping to God he would accept and forgive me.
Seeing him come after me, seeing him being tortured...had been hell..I couldn't bear the thought of him in pain..I was pretty sure I had a new boggart. I couldn't stand to lose him, I'd do anything. I needed him, our daughter needed him.

I wasn't exactly prepared for what happened next, with Gwen grabbing either side of my face and kissing me. My eyes remained open in shock for a second or two before I slowly began relaxing beneath her familiar touch. My eyelids fluttered closed and I kissed her back, my body awash with a feeling I'd severely missed. My hands slowly moved to linger on her waist until she pulled back and I exhaled sharply the moment that she did. Had that really just happened? Had this entire day really fucking happened? From the explosive fight between Gwen and I, to her abduction, to the disaster that had gone on between my father and then it had all lead up to now, the grand finale of sorts. Muggles would be feeding up this kind of shit if it were a movie. It would make a damn good movie too, I knew.

Gwen was repeating that she was sorry but I could only stand there in silence, unable to utter the same apology back again. My body just felt so tired, so defeated, and I felt just so exhausted I could barely keep myself upright. I was going to be feeling the affects of all the curses he'd used on me tomorrow, that was for damn sure. I barely had enough time to recover before he'd becoming after us again, and this time it would be over my dead body if he touched either of them. I meant it when I said I would kill him, even if it had been said in a moment of rage. I realized that if need be, I'd actually murder my father, as gruesome as that might sound. It needed to be done, because he wouldn't ever give up at what he wanted. I knew that. Gwen knew that. But his time would happen. I would make bloody sure of it.

At her words I sighed slowly to keep myself upright, and it felt like an entire weight was being lifted from my shoulders. I knew deep down all I'd wanted was to hear her say those words, but could I bring it in me to say them back? Instead, I wordlessly grabbed her face like she'd previously done to me and I kissed her senseless, letting the familiar feeling crash throughout my body like it had before. "I missed you so much, babe.. you don't even have any idea." I murmured against her lips, kissing her again before I slowly pulled back. "I shouldn't have done any of what I did. I know that now. I was just too stubborn to admit it." My thumbs gently stroked her cheeks before I let her face go. "I love you, ok? Lets go home?" I offered hopefully, extending my bruised and scabbed hand out to her gingerly. Damn.. next time fighting windows would be the least of my worries.

Whe he began to kiss me senseless I let my eyelids flutter closed and kissed him back losing my fingers in his hair as I smiled at his words and kissed him needily,
"I know baby (kiss) same (kiss) here (kiss) Poor Ian had to deal with me." I felt tears welling up in my eyes from relief.
I'd have to call Ian tomorow, tell him I was okay, back with Evan.
At his makeshift apology I nodded kissing him again eagerly having missed his taste like crazycakes.
"I love you too baby, more than anything" I murmured back before looking at his hands, remembering how everytime we fought he punched a wall and everytime I'd heal him again.
"why is it that it's always your knuckles I have to heal?" I smiled before healing them and apparating to his apartment, home.
"So if this is home should I believe you're asking me to live with you?" I smirked before leading him to the bathroom to wash up. Literally just washing. We were both waaay to exhasted for anything else. Then I pulled on one of his tshirts on and cuddled up to him in bed and closed my eyes.
"I love you.." I murmured before placing his hand on my bare stomach so he could feel her kick.
"she loves you too.." I stroked his cheek softly before I kissed him , snuggling into his arms and falling asleep.

Each time she kissed me I kissed her back, enjoying the familiar feeling of her soft, warm lips. It was a miracle how I'd been able to go without them, but I hadn't wanted to do this with anyone else. It was strange to be that way when before kissing a complete stranger had been almost welcome, but I was far past that now. A year later and who I been was nothing but a ghost in the past. What I was now couldn't even begin to compare to what I had been, and that was the truth. I chuckled when she said Ian had to deal with her, and I shrugged wordlessly before kissing her again. "I'm sure he didn't mind." I mused, although I couldn't be sure. Another one of Gwen's friends that was sure to hate my guts now, but I couldn't really say I cared.

I knew I hadn't exactly apologized in the correct way but it was all I could manage, and it seemed to be enough because she was kissing me again and I was letting her. I smiled slightly in spite of myself when she said she loved me, it really was good to hear that again. Opposed to her saying she hated my guts and attempting to hurt me a couple of different times. I supposed they weren't kidding when they said that love hurt, both literally and not.

I glanced down almost guiltily when she mentioned my knuckles. "Cause apparently I like to use my hands to beat things up. Like buildings, and walls, and the newest addition being windows." I said with a smirk and a shrug. My hand instantly felt better after she'd healed it and the next thing I knew, she was apparating us to my apartment. In a way I was glad she had it in her because I was absolutely exhausted. Every part of my body was aching and pleading for rest. I followed Gwen in the bathroom and managed to clean up the best I could, shedding my ripped clothes and heading to my bed with just boxers on.

The second my body hit the mattress I felt like I was going to pass out, especially with Gwen cuddled up against me. I heard what she was saying but I was already slipping away. "Mhhmmm...luffyewtoo.." I managed to mutter before I knocked out completely, a single arm wrapped around her body as I held her next to me. Felt good to have things back to normal..

ooc: End of thread?!

Ooc: yep Gwen has to go to hogwarts now, dw they can see each other on weekends, will you put our threads in the archive pls? Thanks <3